I knew this moment would come; one that I have loathed since the day she was born. It was just a matter of time before it happened...before Barbie came into our household. Yes, Babs is in our house right now as I write, and I cringe at the thought of it!
That is right I DESPISE Barbie! For many of you this may seem preposterous, but it's not really. I mean think about her; Barbie that is. Her torpedo tits, her #2 pencil legs, her tiny feet in their stilettos, her big hair and porn star make-up and her never-ending supply of clothing and accessories. So why wouldn't I want my daughter to play with Barbie?
Maybe because I don't want her to think that this is the "typical" way a womun should look.
Maybe because there is NO WAY a womun could ever achieve the Barbie body-type.
Maybe because I want her to value her mind and have a healthy body image.
Maybe because I want her to understand there is more to life than acquiring material things.
Maybe because I want to shelter her as long as possible from the harsh, cruel world and all of it's pressures and expectations of gurls and womyn to fit into an unattainable "perfect" Barbie-like clone. I know this is unavoidable, that she is going to feel these pressures and expectations at some point in her life but if I do my job right, she will be armed with the tools to fight back. So this is why I say no to Barbie and Disney Princesses and Bratz and the such. I believe it is MY job as her mother and primary educator to instill in her at this very young age a foundation based on love and respect for herself and all people and living things around her. It is my job to teach her that beauty comes in many shapes, sizes, colors and forms. And until Mattel or Disney embrace this same philosophy they will not be welcome in my home.
I have not kicked Barbie out yet. I have let her be attached to my gurl's hip for a few days and I am letting this run it's course. But I have also taken this opportunity as a way to talk to her and teach her about womyn's bodies and about the important things to value in this world. Yes, I knew this day would come, but never in my wildest dreams imagined it would be when she was only five.
Showing posts with label parenting frusterations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting frusterations. Show all posts
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Calgone take me away!
This summer has been rough; I am not going to lie or even sugar coat things. The weather this summer has been anything but summer-like. Greg has been sick and is still dealing with infections and such. The kids have been at war with each other ALL summer, which has been comical at times, but mostly just a tad bit of hell. And I have been in a really pissy mood and weird funk all summer. Lately, I have been trying to pull myself back to realms of normalcy and I have been trying to find the good in everything and everyone (including myself), which hasn't been easy. Do you ever have those days/weeks/months where nothing seems to come easily? Not joy, laughter, peace, love, or even anger...a time in which you feel like you are just suspended in time trying to get somewhere, trying to rip the callouses off your heart and remember what it is like to feel again; really FEEL. I have been trying to do this as of lately and by lately I mean these last few weeks or so and I am not sure how far I am getting in this process. I know this week I have had some wicked PMS and so I have regressed a bit! But honestly, I am trying and that is what counts right?
So in doing so I decided I would post some pictures of things that bring joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face. And then I am going to go take a lovely bubble bath in the dark. Good night.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
To all of the amazing mothers out there who are busting their asses for their families 24-7 I say a HUGE thank you! And I hope you all had a wonderful mother's day. I really do.
I hope you were able to sleep in.
I hope you were able to get breakfast in bed.
I hope you were able to do what YOU wanted for your entire day.
I hope your day wasn't full of kids whining, crying and fighting.
I hope the day encouraged you be a little reflective on the type of mother you want and strive to be.
I hope it filled you with an overwhelming sense of appreciation.
I hope all of this, or even some of this happened for you because you deserve it.
But, I am guessing it probably did not. I am guessing that it was just another ordinary day like every other day that left you falling into your bed at the end of it with pure exhaustion. Or maybe that was just me. Maybe I am the only mother out there who is a little bitter that I didn't have a good mother's day, or that I didn't get the one and only thing I asked for...TO SLEEP IN! I have sickness all around me and now I am sick again as well and I can't seem to get a break.
....it is now over a week later after my serious head cold has mostly passed and I am done sulking about what a shitty day my mother's day turned out to be. I will spare the details, but let's just say that many tears were shed...many. I wasn't going to post all of this until I realized that all of the mothers around me had really horrible days as well. As I had numerous (quite helarious) conversations over this last week with other womyn I realized that we all had wanted basic displays of appreciation and for whatever reason the day was just like any other day and we all went to sleep with some levels of disappointment.
For me, as I went to bed with disappointment and a little bitterness, I sat in bed reflecting on what it means to be a mother and I came to the hard realization that this is part of the job. You do what you do not for numerous accolades from those around you but because you want these human beings that you brought into this world to have the best life possible- to be happy, healthy, loved. And you do whatever you need to do to make that possible. Being a mother is the most self-less job there is; even on mother's day, the one day that you should be able to be a little selfish.
The following day I wrote my mother a letter thanking her for the endless amount of love and care that she has given through the years. As a mother I now realize and appreciate all that she has provided and sacrificed. Even though I don't even know the half of it, I do know as a mother what that means and I am appreciative.
From one mother to a world of mothers out there...thank you for all you do for us as womyn, daughters and other mothers. Thank you for the sacrifices that you have made for the next generation and for our mother earth.
I hope you were able to sleep in.
I hope you were able to get breakfast in bed.
I hope you were able to do what YOU wanted for your entire day.
I hope your day wasn't full of kids whining, crying and fighting.
I hope the day encouraged you be a little reflective on the type of mother you want and strive to be.
I hope it filled you with an overwhelming sense of appreciation.
I hope all of this, or even some of this happened for you because you deserve it.
But, I am guessing it probably did not. I am guessing that it was just another ordinary day like every other day that left you falling into your bed at the end of it with pure exhaustion. Or maybe that was just me. Maybe I am the only mother out there who is a little bitter that I didn't have a good mother's day, or that I didn't get the one and only thing I asked for...TO SLEEP IN! I have sickness all around me and now I am sick again as well and I can't seem to get a break.
....it is now over a week later after my serious head cold has mostly passed and I am done sulking about what a shitty day my mother's day turned out to be. I will spare the details, but let's just say that many tears were shed...many. I wasn't going to post all of this until I realized that all of the mothers around me had really horrible days as well. As I had numerous (quite helarious) conversations over this last week with other womyn I realized that we all had wanted basic displays of appreciation and for whatever reason the day was just like any other day and we all went to sleep with some levels of disappointment.
For me, as I went to bed with disappointment and a little bitterness, I sat in bed reflecting on what it means to be a mother and I came to the hard realization that this is part of the job. You do what you do not for numerous accolades from those around you but because you want these human beings that you brought into this world to have the best life possible- to be happy, healthy, loved. And you do whatever you need to do to make that possible. Being a mother is the most self-less job there is; even on mother's day, the one day that you should be able to be a little selfish.
The following day I wrote my mother a letter thanking her for the endless amount of love and care that she has given through the years. As a mother I now realize and appreciate all that she has provided and sacrificed. Even though I don't even know the half of it, I do know as a mother what that means and I am appreciative.
From one mother to a world of mothers out there...thank you for all you do for us as womyn, daughters and other mothers. Thank you for the sacrifices that you have made for the next generation and for our mother earth.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Why are Sundays so hard?
A question that we can't seem to answer these days! Sundays in our household are probably much like other households, not as relaxing as they should be. We are too busy with getting ready for the next week and right now just trying to keep the peace between our kids and trying to keep our own sanity in the process. This entry is more for me than you. It is to help me process and vent about the day and try to find some humor in all of this. Also, to remind my self that this is normal and maybe remind or even warn some of you that this is normal life with two wee ones. So this is the insight to our day yesterday and how the last couple of Sundays have been what I like to now call "Story-Simon melt-down Sundays."
We wake up to the gurl stopping down the hall to our room to inform us that she cannot find one of her 20 babies (stuffed-animals) in bed and is very distraught. So Gregory gets up and goes to help her and informs her that it is too early (because it is 6 a.m.) and she needs to get back into bed. That doesn't happen of course and she continues to play in her room. Ten minutes later as I am almost back asleep she then realizes she is hungry and barrels down the hall to share this new information. So I tell her that she can get a trail mix bar from the pantry and eat it in her room, but that she needs to close our door and let us sleep. Now I was finally able to sleep in a little and by 8 a.m. the boy was awake and squawking so I peeling myself out of bed and grabbed the little man and headed downstairs.
The gurl followed us and the three of us congregated in the kitchen for our drinks of choice, juice milk and chai, to figure out breakfast. After that was taken care of we went down to the basement to play and that is when the day started tanking. Everything that the gurl had the boy wanted and this created many issues for everyone. Because if she didn't give him what he wanted he would scream, hit, bite and pull her hair until she got so angry that she would fight back. So after numerous separations and time-outs by 9:30 I decided to take them upstairs for a snack and see if that would dissipate the situation between the two. But it didn't, instead they decided to have a screaming match and continued to scream and yell at each other as loud as they could. At this point all I could do was tune them out because I had been putting up with this for almost two hours, but now Greg was woken up to this insane amount of noise and not so entertained as you might imagine.
So now that we were both up, maybe they will chill out a little, right? No- now the boy is having even more issues since he is in a serious phase of separation anxiety so anytime Gregory and the gurl are around I can't be out of sight and most of the time he will cry, whine, scream and such unless I actually hold him (thank God for my mei tai wrap). Fun times right now!
The rest of the late morning consists of the two children fluxing between having a wonderful time together playing tag and then one of them lashing out at the other over a toy or a phone. So finally at noon I put the boy down for a nap, Greg helped the gurl get lunch and we hoped that she would take her nap at the same time so that we could nap. Wishful thinking! She did go up to her room after lunch, but decided that she was going to play in her bunks, so within that hour we realized that neither of them were going to have the rest time they needed and neither were we.
We got the boy up and told the gurl she has to rest, which meant laying down, and then made our way to the basement to start tackling the laundry for this week. The gurl refused to rest and so once again both kids are messing with each other while we were trying to fold numerous baskets of laundry. So I take the boy upstairs with me to start dinner, Greg keeps the gurl in the basement. I am wondering at this point if it is still too early for a glass of wine.
The whole process of dinner is difficult these days due to the boy wanting to be held through the whole process, which is hard to do when you actually make meals. So I have a few options on most nights. I either hand him over to Greg and listen to him scream most, if not the whole time that I get dinner together or I have had to let him cry it out while I chop veggies. I then put him in my wrap while I do all of the easy parts and set him down again to finish it up, which usually starts the crying and screaming cycle. Now, I guess having Greg cook is another alternative, but I love cooking and for me this is a part of the day that I usually look forward to. I also found another option which is making the dinner during the day and then heating it up at night, since he is fine during the day because it is just the two of us and that is the option that I chose last week and it worked well. But as you have noticed on a day like yesterday that option would not work. And on the evenings that Greg works late, this doesn't seem to be an issue..hmm.....
Back to the Story-Simon melt-down Sunday. So once we (the boy and I) moved upstairs he seemed to be okay most of the time if the other two didn't appear and dinner was the best part of the day, actually a little calmer (maybe it was the red wine, I don't know).
After dinner, hell broke loose again as I took the gurl up for a shower and the boy went hysterical with me out of sight. So he wouldn't hyperventilate -honestly it was that bad, Greg had to bring him upstairs just to be in my presence so that we could get them to bed and hopefully have down time together. Greg took the gurl and finished her bedtime routine and I took the boy to calm him down and get him to bed. While trying to put him in bed the boy went into a screaming fit and after rocking, singing, and such I had to just lay him down. Now, I am not one for doing the "cry it out thing", it pains me deeply, but it had to happen last night. I could not do it for any longer and within 15 minutes (felt like 30) he was asleep. And so was she.
SO...after that all I could do was sit in front of the T.V. and vegetate and try to bring my blood pressure and heart rate down. This is my life right now, weekends are rough. I really am trying to find the pleasure during the weekends, but it has been very difficult. With Greg starting to work on Saturdays, Sunday is the only day that we have as a rest day and it has been anything but that! I am thinking that we might need to make Sundays a day for family adventures and let that be our way to connect as a family unit, because what we are doing at this present time is just not working. And then Monday mornings are here and we feel more exhausted that we did before the weekend even started.
So if we don't call back on the weekends, now you know why!
We wake up to the gurl stopping down the hall to our room to inform us that she cannot find one of her 20 babies (stuffed-animals) in bed and is very distraught. So Gregory gets up and goes to help her and informs her that it is too early (because it is 6 a.m.) and she needs to get back into bed. That doesn't happen of course and she continues to play in her room. Ten minutes later as I am almost back asleep she then realizes she is hungry and barrels down the hall to share this new information. So I tell her that she can get a trail mix bar from the pantry and eat it in her room, but that she needs to close our door and let us sleep. Now I was finally able to sleep in a little and by 8 a.m. the boy was awake and squawking so I peeling myself out of bed and grabbed the little man and headed downstairs.
The gurl followed us and the three of us congregated in the kitchen for our drinks of choice, juice milk and chai, to figure out breakfast. After that was taken care of we went down to the basement to play and that is when the day started tanking. Everything that the gurl had the boy wanted and this created many issues for everyone. Because if she didn't give him what he wanted he would scream, hit, bite and pull her hair until she got so angry that she would fight back. So after numerous separations and time-outs by 9:30 I decided to take them upstairs for a snack and see if that would dissipate the situation between the two. But it didn't, instead they decided to have a screaming match and continued to scream and yell at each other as loud as they could. At this point all I could do was tune them out because I had been putting up with this for almost two hours, but now Greg was woken up to this insane amount of noise and not so entertained as you might imagine.
So now that we were both up, maybe they will chill out a little, right? No- now the boy is having even more issues since he is in a serious phase of separation anxiety so anytime Gregory and the gurl are around I can't be out of sight and most of the time he will cry, whine, scream and such unless I actually hold him (thank God for my mei tai wrap). Fun times right now!
The rest of the late morning consists of the two children fluxing between having a wonderful time together playing tag and then one of them lashing out at the other over a toy or a phone. So finally at noon I put the boy down for a nap, Greg helped the gurl get lunch and we hoped that she would take her nap at the same time so that we could nap. Wishful thinking! She did go up to her room after lunch, but decided that she was going to play in her bunks, so within that hour we realized that neither of them were going to have the rest time they needed and neither were we.
We got the boy up and told the gurl she has to rest, which meant laying down, and then made our way to the basement to start tackling the laundry for this week. The gurl refused to rest and so once again both kids are messing with each other while we were trying to fold numerous baskets of laundry. So I take the boy upstairs with me to start dinner, Greg keeps the gurl in the basement. I am wondering at this point if it is still too early for a glass of wine.
The whole process of dinner is difficult these days due to the boy wanting to be held through the whole process, which is hard to do when you actually make meals. So I have a few options on most nights. I either hand him over to Greg and listen to him scream most, if not the whole time that I get dinner together or I have had to let him cry it out while I chop veggies. I then put him in my wrap while I do all of the easy parts and set him down again to finish it up, which usually starts the crying and screaming cycle. Now, I guess having Greg cook is another alternative, but I love cooking and for me this is a part of the day that I usually look forward to. I also found another option which is making the dinner during the day and then heating it up at night, since he is fine during the day because it is just the two of us and that is the option that I chose last week and it worked well. But as you have noticed on a day like yesterday that option would not work. And on the evenings that Greg works late, this doesn't seem to be an issue..hmm.....
Back to the Story-Simon melt-down Sunday. So once we (the boy and I) moved upstairs he seemed to be okay most of the time if the other two didn't appear and dinner was the best part of the day, actually a little calmer (maybe it was the red wine, I don't know).
After dinner, hell broke loose again as I took the gurl up for a shower and the boy went hysterical with me out of sight. So he wouldn't hyperventilate -honestly it was that bad, Greg had to bring him upstairs just to be in my presence so that we could get them to bed and hopefully have down time together. Greg took the gurl and finished her bedtime routine and I took the boy to calm him down and get him to bed. While trying to put him in bed the boy went into a screaming fit and after rocking, singing, and such I had to just lay him down. Now, I am not one for doing the "cry it out thing", it pains me deeply, but it had to happen last night. I could not do it for any longer and within 15 minutes (felt like 30) he was asleep. And so was she.
SO...after that all I could do was sit in front of the T.V. and vegetate and try to bring my blood pressure and heart rate down. This is my life right now, weekends are rough. I really am trying to find the pleasure during the weekends, but it has been very difficult. With Greg starting to work on Saturdays, Sunday is the only day that we have as a rest day and it has been anything but that! I am thinking that we might need to make Sundays a day for family adventures and let that be our way to connect as a family unit, because what we are doing at this present time is just not working. And then Monday mornings are here and we feel more exhausted that we did before the weekend even started.
So if we don't call back on the weekends, now you know why!
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